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Feb. 14th, 2009 02:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dodontThat was a super fun evening. And I got to make a thing for Padmini (illustrated warty bliggins the toad by archy as told by Don Marquis).
It's odd when people ask what has been happening to me since I last saw them when what has been happening is that I've been going out of my mind with pain and boredom and not doing a whole lot else, or when people ask if I'm getting better and I'm not but I should be better in some undetermined length of time once I've had surgery, but they actually want to hear something positive. I know the correct answer to "how are you?" is always "fine", but I hate lying to the extent that if someone asks me these sorts of probing questions, they will get an honest answer. And it seems to piss people off sometimes that I'm being so negative. Someone actually asked me "It's not that bad, is it?" tonight. What am I supposed to say to that? No, I've just been in constant distracting pain for the last five months and I need surgery and I can barely leave the house and can't work so have to live on 60 quid a week and somehow afford to go to the gym to use the bike machine so my muscles don't waste away but noooo you're right it's not that bad, because it's not *broken*. And then I get pissed off because actually it is pretty shite, and it's their bloody fault for asking a cripple what they've been up to, and sometimes these are people who I feel like should be giving a damn about my well-being not just wanting a heartwarming story about triumph over adversity and yay sparkly things.
So the story is that I am using my time productively by volunteering with the RSPB and Water of Leith which is great and yes I'm getting better. The end. Which is technically true, it's just ludicrously sugar-coated. So that's the version everyone's getting from now on.
Talking of shitty limbs, I got a call from the jobcentre saying they will eversogenerously reimburse my taxi fares for my mandatory Employment and Support Allowance interview but it's certainly not policy, so I updated my MP, MSPs and all the Councillors on my progress and thanked them for their efforts and mentioned that it *should* be policy to reimburse taxi fares for people who rely on taxis to get there. My MP wrote back saying he certainly agrees and will be taking the matter up with them. So yay for things being done.
It feels weird that I'll be sleeping in my bed without Steven.
I must remember not to be such a grumpy cow.
Oh, and while I'm complaining, my right knee is starting to go from using it exclusively to go up stairs and generally carrying the vast majority of my weight, which by the way is climbing like a scary bitch.
It's odd when people ask what has been happening to me since I last saw them when what has been happening is that I've been going out of my mind with pain and boredom and not doing a whole lot else, or when people ask if I'm getting better and I'm not but I should be better in some undetermined length of time once I've had surgery, but they actually want to hear something positive. I know the correct answer to "how are you?" is always "fine", but I hate lying to the extent that if someone asks me these sorts of probing questions, they will get an honest answer. And it seems to piss people off sometimes that I'm being so negative. Someone actually asked me "It's not that bad, is it?" tonight. What am I supposed to say to that? No, I've just been in constant distracting pain for the last five months and I need surgery and I can barely leave the house and can't work so have to live on 60 quid a week and somehow afford to go to the gym to use the bike machine so my muscles don't waste away but noooo you're right it's not that bad, because it's not *broken*. And then I get pissed off because actually it is pretty shite, and it's their bloody fault for asking a cripple what they've been up to, and sometimes these are people who I feel like should be giving a damn about my well-being not just wanting a heartwarming story about triumph over adversity and yay sparkly things.
So the story is that I am using my time productively by volunteering with the RSPB and Water of Leith which is great and yes I'm getting better. The end. Which is technically true, it's just ludicrously sugar-coated. So that's the version everyone's getting from now on.
Talking of shitty limbs, I got a call from the jobcentre saying they will eversogenerously reimburse my taxi fares for my mandatory Employment and Support Allowance interview but it's certainly not policy, so I updated my MP, MSPs and all the Councillors on my progress and thanked them for their efforts and mentioned that it *should* be policy to reimburse taxi fares for people who rely on taxis to get there. My MP wrote back saying he certainly agrees and will be taking the matter up with them. So yay for things being done.
It feels weird that I'll be sleeping in my bed without Steven.
I must remember not to be such a grumpy cow.
Oh, and while I'm complaining, my right knee is starting to go from using it exclusively to go up stairs and generally carrying the vast majority of my weight, which by the way is climbing like a scary bitch.
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no subject
Date: 2009-02-14 08:10 am (UTC)I'm sorry to hear the weight is coming on, I thought the meal control thing was working? (I haven't yet decided on an official course of action for me as regards that, so would be interested to hear what is going on with you) x
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Date: 2009-02-14 12:00 pm (UTC)The weight thing is really puzzling. A couple of weeks ago I weighed myself and I'd lost half a stone since Christmas, and I had been monitoring it quite frequently and it was slowly going down rather than fluctuating. But I kind of stopped checking after that and I just weighed myself again and I've put on like a stone since then, which is shocking. There's only so much gym I can do, and my diet I *think* is pretty good (although my dad left me with vast amounts of cheese and pitta bread, which is clearly not helping). So I need to really watch what I'm doing and figure out how to stop it. I'll probably start updating food and exercise things to lj to keep me motivated.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-14 02:52 pm (UTC)